What's Your Definition of Success?

There is a lot of noise out there. When it comes to self-publishing, the noise can often be deafening. Opinions are a dime a dozen, and it gets harder and harder to distinguish good advice from terrible advice. In a profession where self-doubt is part of the package for most of us, how do you know who to listen to? Who is right? How do you know if your own instincts are the right ones?

If you're a writer who is plugged in--by which I mean a member of private Facebook groups for authors, paying attention to Twitter, friends with other authors who are active on social media, etc--you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. For me, it looks like this:

• I come up with a great plan for my work that seems solid and stays true to my ideal of always writing what I love.
• I hear someone say something that goes against my plan. (e.g. "You're stupid if you don't take advantage of preorders" or "No one is buying New Adult paranormal and the next big thing is definitely going to be New Adult suspense and thrillers.")
• I begin to doubt my plan, which paralyzes me. I start eating a lot of doughnuts and have a hard time getting back into my work-in-progress.
• I waste two weeks paying way too much attention to what other people are saying and getting almost nothing done on my own book/plan.
• I eventually wake up to the fact that I need to trust myself and write what I love. I come up with a plan that works for me, and I get back to work. 

This is a vicious cycle. It not only drains my creativity, but it fills me with constant self-doubt, worry, and panic. All of which are totally, 100 percent unnecessary. In the meantime, I have wasted what could have been joyful, productive days, because I've been worrying whether I'm doing the right thing or on the right path to success.

Lately, I've been working to take a few steps back and ask myself WHOSE SUCCESS AM I REACHING FOR?

The idea of "success" as an indie author has changed drastically since I first began self-publishing. Back in the "old days" of 2010, I remember Joe Konrath posting a list of authors who had managed to sell 1,000 books in a single month. Back then, the list was small and if you were on it, you were considered a huge success. A short while later, he changed the terms to authors who had sold 1,000 copies of a single title in a month.

Now, we have indies who consider 1,000 copies sold a day a disappointment. How crazy is that? In just 4 short years, we have seen a massive explosion of the market. Opportunity abounds, but what defines success has only gotten more competitive. Those authors who are selling 1,000 books a month are considered small potatoes these days, right? It may feel like an enormous personal success to sell at that rate, but no one is listing your name on their blog or pointing to you as a success story.

Some of you may shrug and say, "Who cares?" But the truth is, most of us do care. On some level, it's only natural to want to be considered a success. It's only natural to desire recognition for our accomplishments.

I have been realizing more and more these days that if I want to find joy in this career, I need to stop letting everyone else define the term "success" for me. Just because a friend hit the NYT Bestseller list and makes $100,000 a month in her writing does not mean I am a failure for not achieving those things. Defining my success solely in comparison to the success of others is a very dangerous, toxic practice.

If I spend my days constantly trying to achieve the world's definition of success, I have a feeling I'm going to be chasing an impossible dream for the rest of my life. And you know what else? I'm going to start changing my own plans, distorting my own dreams, and going against my own beliefs to achieve something I'm not sure I cared about in the first place.

What do I mean by that? Here's an example. If my passion is to write NA Paranormal with themes that are close to my heart (love, strength, destiny), but people keep telling me that in order to hit the NYT Bestseller List, I really should be writing sexy NA paranormals with BBW and werewolves, I might actually listen to those people and start writing what they say I should be writing. Instead of following my own heart and writing the stories that speak to me--the stories that bring me joy--I might start writing to the market, chasing a list or a specific payday just so people will say I'm a success.

That's not what I want out of life. I don't want to regurgitate someone else's stories or write books I'm not passionate about so that I can have a chance at hitting a list or making more money. I got into this business so that I could write the stories of my heart. Success to me is defined by writing what I love and keeping a roof over my head while I do it. Do I want to make more money? Of course. Do I want more recognition? Yes, of course I do. But not at the expense of writing stories I can be proud of.

That's what success is to me. Making a living writing stories I'm passionate about. Changing people's lives and touching readers with the characters I create. Those are the things that are most important to me.

Success might mean something completely different to you. The money may be the most important thing to some writers, and that's okay. Hitting a major bestseller list might be the be-all, end-all dream of some authors. Writing full time and getting out of a job you hate might be the definition of success for some of you, no matter what genre you're writing or how you get there.

The point I'm trying to make is that success should be a very personal thing. Don't let someone else define what success means to you. Dig deep and spend some time really thinking about what it is YOU want out of writing. And once you figure it out, go toward that dream with everything you have. Don't ever let someone else's definition of success derail your journey.

There are some who look at me and think I'm nothing. I've never hit the USA Today or NYT Bestsellers list. I have never hit the Amazon Top 100 with a new release. I don't even have 5,000 fans on Facebook. According to their definition of success, I'm nowhere close.

But almost every single day, I receive some kind of message or email from a fan saying that my books touched their hearts. My characters resonated with them in some way that taught them something or made them realize something about themselves. I've sold a quarter of a million ebooks in four years, and I've touched thousands of people's lives. That matters to me. Even if I never hit a major list or make millions of dollars, as long as I can keep writing stories that are true to my own vision and that touch people's lives, I will always be a success.

As we near the end of 2014, my goal is to remember that on a daily basis. I want to learn to listen to the noise in such a way that I can learn from the helpful advice that lines up with my personal goals and my personal definition of success. And I want to learn to dismiss the rest of it. Anything that doesn't line up with my own definition of success should be tossed out and forgotten. I don't want to ever let those kinds of things derail my confidence or my happiness.

What is your definition of success? Has it changed since you first started publishing? I'd love to hear more about your goals, but also your struggles when it comes to your personal definition of success.

Motivation for Writers

Writing full-time is a dream come true. I try to make sure I never take this blessing for granted, but let's face it. Some days are harder than others. I have those days when it's been one thing after another and my son just won't go to bed and I've been running around for the past ten hours. The last thing I want to do on those days when I finally get five minutes of time to myself is to sit down and write. Those are the days when writing feels like work, and I know that if I don't find some kind of extra motivation, there will be no words.

And my goal is "no zero days". I believe that the most successful authors sit their butts down in the chair every single day and write. This is something I struggle with. I have always been more of a "binge" writer. My favorite thing is going to a hotel or the beach for the weekend and staying up all night writing nonstop. It's so much fun, and I get to really immerse myself in the story for a little while. And there's nothing wrong with binge writing. It's a great way to catch up before a deadline.

On the other hand, it's extremely valuable to practice daily writing. Even 1,000 words a day still adds up to 365,000 words a year! That's amazing to think about. 1,000 words a day is do-able, right?

But like I said, some days are harder than others. Some days 5,000 words flows like water. Some days, getting 50 words feels like pulling teeth. So what can you do?

Find the things that motivate you and

use them as a reward. 

My Sweetie Store

If you've been following me for a while, you've already heard about my "Sweetie Store". This is something my husband came up with to motivate me to write every day. Here's how it works:

1. Buy items I want and put them into the store. This can be anything from pens to Hello Kitty stickers. I have dollar store items in there, as well as expensive designer bracelets. The only thing that matters here is that you have to put things in the store that you want so badly, you are willing to work for it. If you aren't into stickers and physical things, experiment with other rewards. Massages? Movie rentals? A tattoo? Whatever works! My advice, too, is to include a mix of big items and small ones. We are beings who love instant gratification, so it won't be as motivational if you have to work for six months just to afford your rewards.
2. Assign a points value to the items. Our system is generally 1,000 points = $1. If I have a $5.00 item, I have to earn 5,000 "sweetie points" to buy it from the store.
3. Earn points by writing. We used to do a 1=1 system where 1 word was equal to 1 point. Over the past few years, we have revamped the system to accommodate different needs.For a while, we had a system that rewarded me with double points any time I hit 5,000 words in a day. This system rewarded "binge" writing, though, so we recently updated it again. Now, the system rewards writing at least 500 words a day, every day. Do what works for you! 

It's that easy, and it works! If you don't have the money to buy the items first, cut out a picture of the item you want and buy it after you've earned the reward. Even a Starbucks coffee can be a reward if it motivates you! And most of the time, the more you write, the more money you have the potential to earn.

Here's a pic of some of the items in my Sweetie Store that have me working particularly hard right now! 

Hello Kitty Mystery Mini's. These were $6 each and the fact that I don't know for sure what's in each box is killing me!

I am really dying to get the zombie kitty or the witch!!! I can't wait to open these!

Hello Kitty wrap bracelet. This was an exclusive item on the Sanrio website, made by designer Chan Luu, using Swarovski crystals. I don't even want to say how much it cost, haha. Let's just say it's going to take a few books to earn this one!

I also wanted to mention a couple other strategies and tools I use to stay motivated. One is a vision board. Every few months I make a brand new one that is in line with my current goals. It helps me to be very conscious of my goals and to take the time to match them with images that speak to me. I love being able to see that vision board every time I walk into my office. It keeps me focused.

My Vision Board

Setting up your office space with images or items that motivate and inspire is also a great way to fuel your writing fire. I have a couple different writing spaces in my house. My main office is shared with my husband and has my double-screens and all my files and pens and such. I decorated the wall above my monitors with things I love or that inspire me like NaNo WriMo and Hello Kitty and a poster of my favorite game and my favorite show of all time.

My main office. Ignore the mess on my desk, haha.

I recently created a new writing space in one of the closets in our house. I love how this little space feels like a little cocoon. I can focus and be quiet and not be distracted by the rest of the world. No internet allowed! There's a third quiet space in my bedroom, but I find I use this mostly for plotting or reading only. It's important to have even one small space to call your own where you can feel inspired.

My beautiful new Filofax!

Finally, I purchased a Filofax! OMG, I am so in love with this planner. I bought a Filofax Classic in patent purple leather, but any planner will work. My husband thinks I'm crazy because I could easily keep track of my calendar and to-do lists and everything else digitally, but what can I say? I am addicted to office supplies. I love pens and post-its and stickers and pretty papers. I can't help it! My new Filofax planner has been a wonderful tool so far, allowing me to keep all my thoughts and lists and word counts and points in one spot. Seeing my goals written down is a huge motivator. Plus, I find that I like to think through my plots while I'm decorating my pages with cute washi tapes and stickers. Crazy? Perhaps. But most of us are crazy, right?

Staying motivated is essential in this day and age. With all the noise that's out there (Facebook groups and forums and twitter and blogs), it's hard to stay focused on the one thing that really matters most for our success as writers. WRITING.

What are some ways you motivate your own writing? What tools do you use to motivate yourself to sit down and squeeze out 500 words, even on those days when you don't feel like it?

My Sales Numbers Do Not Determine My Worth

Last year, I had an incredible struggle with my self-confidence.
I attribute this struggle to several different factors.

1. I published the final book in my only series in December 2012 and wasn't sure what to start next or if anyone would read it.
2. Not many people read my next YA book, which was my worst fear come true.
3. Several of my good author friends started sharing their monthly sales numbers with me in a private Facebook group. Theirs went up and up and up while mine, without new releases in my previously bestselling series, went down and down and down. I tried my best to focus on being happy for them and not comparing my low sales to their high sales, but it was extremely difficult for me.
4. An author I considered a good friend stabbed me in the back and belittled me in ways you can't imagine. All because of my numbers compared to hers.

This was a recipe for disaster. I became semi-obsessed with comparing myself and my sales to other authors. I was in a downward confidence spiral, which believe me, was not doing me any favors in the production department. The more I compared myself to others, the less I focused on writing what I loved. The less I enjoyed writing, period.

I let my dwindling sales numbers determine my worth as a person and as a writer. I had over 40,000 sales last year, and I felt like a failure. Why? Because I had friends who were selling so much more than that. I let those comparisons of sales numbers warp my reality.

Looking back now, I'm so angry with myself! Just think what I could have accomplished if I hadn't been so hard on myself!!! What if I had just realized the truth?

It is so easy to compare ourselves to other writers and let those comparisons determine our own value as a writer. And sadly, this goes both ways. I've seen authors practically traumatized by low sales. At the same time, I've also seen authors with amazing sales treat others as if they were worthless peons simply because their sales weren't as high. Neither of these attitudes are good or healthy.

High sales do not make you a better person or a better author. Low sales do not make you worthless or a failure.Your books are the same quality regardless of how many you've sold. Selling a million copies of a book does not suddenly make it a better book than it was when it had only sold five copies. It's the same book. The only thing that's changed is how many people have now come to appreciate it for what it always was.

A book that hasn't sold well is not a 'failure'. An author who has not yet found their audience or their voice is not worthless. We all have books we loved--books that changed our lives--that never really found popularity with the masses. At the same time, we've all picked up huge bestsellers and gone, "Why does everyone love this?" There are a lot of factors involved in selling books. It's not just about quality.

Stop judging yourself and others based on sales alone!

Here's something important to keep in mind when you find yourself stuck in the trap of comparison. There is no time limit on success. Not for you. Not for any of your books. Unlike days of old, no one is going to pull your books off the shelf if they haven't done well in the first few months. No one is going to tell you that your contract isn't renewed and you can't continue your series. (Or if they do, you have other options now that weren't there five years ago!)

Success has no expiration date! I have seen series with three books go from almost zero sales in the past year to suddenly having tens of thousands of sales right after book four came out. You never know what might tip that scale in your favor and make your series take off. You never know what that next book might do for you. As long as you are writing what you love and finding joy in the act of creation, the rewards can be limitless. Instead of telling yourself you are a failure because your first few books didn't perform the way you'd hoped, try believing in yourself and pressing onward. Try having faith that dreams can come true if you just persist and don't give up.

In order to break free of my self-confidence issues, I had to realize that this is MY journey. What someone else has or has not accomplished has nothing to do with me. I am not any better or worse than anyone else. We all have value. We are all capable of making our dreams come true. It's an individual journey, but that doesn't mean we should separate ourselves by constantly comparing and judging those around us. We may have different paths and different ultimate goals, but we're all in this together.

No, I have never hit the New York Times Bestseller List. I have never had a book launch into the Top 100 on Amazon. I have never won an award or sold 10,000 books in a month. But I can tell you that I am proud of every single book I have ever written. I am grateful for every single person who has ever downloaded one of my books. I am achieving my personal goals, one slow step at a time. I am living my dream.

What anyone else does on their journey has no effect on mine, and if someone's attitude or actions make me feel bad about myself, then maybe I don't need that person in my life. Once I learned to cut away the bitterness and cut out the negativity, the only thing left was the joy of writing. The satisfaction of the journey. The moment I started basing my view of success on someone else's journey, the moment I lost my joy. I won't ever let that happen to me again.

Success is a very personal thing. It's something only you can truly judge, because it's all about your own personal goals. What do YOU want out of this career? Not what does someone else think you should want. Realizing that truth has been one of the most freeing, joyful experiences of my career.

I have had people at conferences and in private groups treat me according to what they thought of my sales numbers. "Oh, you've sold over 100,000 books? You must be a great writer! We should be friends." Or, "you've only sold 100,000 books? I've sold a million, so you must not be as great as I am! Your opinion no longer matters to me." It sucks to be treated that way. I'm just me, regardless of my sales numbers. I am more than a number could ever portray.

And so are you.

Regardless of whether your lifetime sales sit at one hundred or one million, you have value as both a person and as an author. Your books have value because you poured your heart into them.

Don't let anyone take that away from you.

If you ever find yourself comparing your own sales numbers or milestones to that of someone else, I encourage you to stop right there and really think about what it is you want. What would you think of yourself right now if that person didn't exist or if you didn't know about what they had accomplished? Take a step back from negative thoughts and remember that you are special. You are accomplishing your dreams. Let those other authors worry about their own success. Cheer them on, take inspiration from those that inspire you, but don't let their journey affect yours.

Trust me when I say this is one of the best gifts you can give yourself as an author.

My Path To Publication Does Not Define Me

In the years since I became a writer, I have heard many labels thrown around. Writer. Author. Small-Press Author. Big Six Author. Romance Writer. Bestseller. "Real" Author. Indie Author. Hybrid Author. I could go on, but I think you get the point.

We can become obsessed sometimes, constantly searching for that one label that defines who we are. Am I good enough? How can I tell? I know! I'll check which label people have affixed to me and see if it measures up to some arbitrary ideal.

When I first started writing, I was just an aspiring author. I hadn't actually authored anything beyond a few terrible poems and many, many angsty journal pages. But I got better. I studied craft and learned how to tell a story and write characters people cared about. I wrote a novel. I got a request and a rejection from a Harlequin editor and suddenly RWA slapped the label of PRO onto my forehead. You are not just aspiring! You are an author! (However, you are not yet good enough to be labeled a "published author". Keep trying.)

For those first years of my newbie writer life, I defined myself by those labels, hungering to someday be a "real" author or a "published" author. I was one of the ones who believed that in order to get that label, you had to be chosen by an agent and editor and your book had to grace the shelves of real bookstores like Barnes & Noble. Well, I believed it until I started opening my eyes to the possibility of something more. Something different. I started watching this author named Amanda Hocking rise up in the Kindle store with her 99 cent YA books. What? How was this happening?

Like many of you, I started reading Joe Konrath's blog. I started doing Google searches, looking for anyone out there who might be willing to share sales numbers and income. Was self-publishing something people could really find success doing? Whoa! Back in the old days of 2010 (ha!), this was mind-blowing. There was a part of me that wanted to jump in with both feet and give it a shot. I had only ever pitched my books to one editor and one agent, but they both told me I was amazing and then rejected me. I didn't like the way that made me feel, and I didn't like the idea of someone else deciding whether readers would ever get the chance to discover my stories.

But there was also a part of me that was afraid. If I self-published, I knew that meant giving up the possibility of some of those coveted labels. Published Author. NYT Bestseller. I would be Indie. Or self-published. I would be less-than. At least that's what people thought back then. (It still amazes me any time someone stills holds those beliefs today, after all we've seen.)

Still, I was able to do some soul-searching and realize that those labels didn't matter to me nearly as much as getting my stories out there. I wanted to be a writer!!! I didn't care what other labels anyone would slap on top of that. I just wanted to write for a living. I wanted to write my stories, my way.

So I jumped. I threw my whole self into publishing and it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. Screw labels. People were buying my books. Call me whatever you want. In my heart, I knew I was a writer. Becoming an Indie was a choice I made, not a concession. It was a victory, not a defeat.

Over the past three or four years, great strides have been made in recognizing Indie authors as "real" writers. We are not aspiring. We are not less-than. We are just writers. It's time to pull down the fence between Traditional and Indie and realize that we are all equals here. Yes, there are major differences in the two paths. Yes, many believe one way is better than the other and those debates will continue. Those debates are healthy and good. But we also need to realize that one path does not make one set of writers any more REAL than the other.

A writer's path to publication no longer determines the quality of that publication. There is quality in abundance these days, regardless of label. We are all capable of getting our stories into the hands of readers. The very act of creating is what makes us writers.

The path we choose should not define us. The labels society has placed on us for years should not be our validation.

We are writers. Let's stop pretending these labels matter the way they used to, and instead, let's start lifting each other up. There's room for us all to succeed in this new world. I believe that with all of my heart, and that's why I am starting this blog. This is my new space to share what's in my heart and to lift up and encourage all those who are passionate about writing.

I hope you'll join me as I discuss why we should all BELIEVE in ourselves, work to INSPIRE each other, and RESPECT all authors, regardless of their path to publication.