If you're a writer who is plugged in--by which I mean a member of private Facebook groups for authors, paying attention to Twitter, friends with other authors who are active on social media, etc--you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. For me, it looks like this:
- I come up with a great plan for my work that seems solid and stays true to my ideal of always writing what I love.
- I hear someone say something that goes against my plan. (e.g. "You're stupid if you don't take advantage of preorders" or "No one is buying New Adult paranormal and the next big thing is definitely going to be New Adult suspense and thrillers.")
- I begin to doubt my plan, which paralyzes me. I start eating a lot of doughnuts and have a hard time getting back into my work-in-progress.
- I waste two weeks paying way too much attention to what other people are saying and getting almost nothing done on my own book/plan.
- I eventually wake up to the fact that I need to trust myself and write what I love. I come up with a plan that works for me, and I get back to work.
This is a vicious cycle. It not only drains my creativity, but it fills me with constant self-doubt, worry, and panic. All of which are totally, 100 percent unnecessary. In the meantime, I have wasted what could have been joyful, productive days, because I've been worrying whether I'm doing the right thing or on the right path to success.
Lately, I've been working to take a few steps back and ask myself WHOSE SUCCESS AM I REACHING FOR?
The idea of "success" as an indie author has changed drastically since I first began self-publishing. Back in the "old days" of 2010, I remember Joe Konrath posting a list of authors who had managed to sell 1,000 books in a single month. Back then, the list was small and if you were on it, you were considered a huge success. A short while later, he changed the terms to authors who had sold 1,000 copies of a single title in a month.
Now, we have indies who consider 1,000 copies sold a day a disappointment. How crazy is that? In just 4 short years, we have seen a massive explosion of the market. Opportunity abounds, but what defines success has only gotten more competitive. Those authors who are selling 1,000 books a month are considered small potatoes these days, right? It may feel like an enormous personal success to sell at that rate, but no one is listing your name on their blog or pointing to you as a success story.
Some of you may shrug and say, "Who cares?" But the truth is, most of us do care. On some level, it's only natural to want to be considered a success. It's only natural to desire recognition for our accomplishments.
I have been realizing more and more these days that if I want to find joy in this career, I need to stop letting everyone else define the term "success" for me. Just because a friend hit the NYT Bestseller list and makes $100,000 a month in her writing does not mean I am a failure for not achieving those things. Defining my success solely in comparison to the success of others is a very dangerous, toxic practice.
If I spend my days constantly trying to achieve the world's definition of success, I have a feeling I'm going to be chasing an impossible dream for the rest of my life. And you know what else? I'm going to start changing my own plans, distorting my own dreams, and going against my own beliefs to achieve something I'm not sure I cared about in the first place.
What do I mean by that? Here's an example. If my passion is to write NA Paranormal with themes that are close to my heart (love, strength, destiny), but people keep telling me that in order to hit the NYT Bestseller List, I really should be writing sexy NA paranormals with BBW and werewolves, I might actually listen to those people and start writing what they say I should be writing. Instead of following my own heart and writing the stories that speak to me--the stories that bring me joy--I might start writing to the market, chasing a list or a specific payday just so people will say I'm a success.
That's not what I want out of life. I don't want to regurgitate someone else's stories or write books I'm not passionate about so that I can have a chance at hitting a list or making more money. I got into this business so that I could write the stories of my heart. Success to me is defined by writing what I love and keeping a roof over my head while I do it. Do I want to make more money? Of course. Do I want more recognition? Yes, of course I do. But not at the expense of writing stories I can be proud of.
That's what success is to me. Making a living writing stories I'm passionate about. Changing people's lives and touching readers with the characters I create. Those are the things that are most important to me.
Success might mean something completely different to you. The money may be the most important thing to some writers, and that's okay. Hitting a major bestseller list might be the be-all, end-all dream of some authors. Writing full time and getting out of a job you hate might be the definition of success for some of you, no matter what genre you're writing or how you get there.
The point I'm trying to make is that success should be a very personal thing. Don't let someone else define what success means to you. Dig deep and spend some time really thinking about what it is YOU want out of writing. And once you figure it out, go toward that dream with everything you have. Don't ever let someone else's definition of success derail your journey.
There are some who look at me and think I'm nothing. I've never hit the USA Today or NYT Bestsellers list. I have never hit the Amazon Top 100 with a new release. I don't even have 5,000 fans on Facebook. According to their definition of success, I'm nowhere close.
But almost every single day, I receive some kind of message or email from a fan saying that my books touched their hearts. My characters resonated with them in some way that taught them something or made them realize something about themselves. I've sold a quarter of a million ebooks in four years, and I've touched thousands of people's lives. That matters to me. Even if I never hit a major list or make millions of dollars, as long as I can keep writing stories that are true to my own vision and that touch people's lives, I will always be a success.
As we near the end of 2014, my goal is to remember that on a daily basis. I want to learn to listen to the noise in such a way that I can learn from the helpful advice that lines up with my personal goals and my personal definition of success. And I want to learn to dismiss the rest of it. Anything that doesn't line up with my own definition of success should be tossed out and forgotten. I don't want to ever let those kinds of things derail my confidence or my happiness.
What is your definition of success? Has it changed since you first started publishing? I'd love to hear more about your goals, but also your struggles when it comes to your personal definition of success.
